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Why Did He Stop Calling?

>>NOTE: Communication is extremely important in any relationship, but there will always be times when it’s better to keep quiet — and leave him to his business. To learn whether these “moments of silence” are good or bad for the relationship, check out my 77 Secrets of Love e-book series — and know how to make these moments work FOR your relationship instead of AGAINST it!

- – -> Make Him Love Calling You! <- – -

Hi, guys!

Today we’ll be talking about communication in relationships — particularly about phone calls.

It’s always nice when he calls you up, isn’t it? It’s nice listening to his voice and talking, often for hours, about sweet nothings.

“I love you.” “I love you more.” “Hang up first.” “No, YOU hang up first…”

Hilarious, and often sometimes downright cheesy! But there’s no doubt about it — a good dose of “this kind of communication” is always good for a relationship.

It’s just too bad that as most relationships go along, it seems that boyfriends call their girlfriends less and less — until they stop calling altogether.

Has this happened to you before?

Did he call you less and less as the relationship went along, until he stopped completely?

Did he get bored? Did you do something wrong? What’s going on?

If these questions sound familiar, then this e-mail is for you!

Why Men Stop Calling

I think we can all agree that a new relationship can be like a new car.

In the beginning, we can’t get enough of a new car — and we take every opportunity we find to go for a drive.

But as time goes by, the “new car smell” wears off. And if you don’t do much for the car’s upkeep, driving it becomes a chore.

Eventually we see a new car model going around, and we do everything we can to GET that new car — leaving the old one to deteriorate, or sell it to a used car dealer.

Unfortunately, some men do see their girlfriends the same way. Unless the relationship stays interesting, they’re eventually going to look for that “new car smell” elsewhere — even with another woman.

Yeah… jerks!

But hey, it’s not just them, either.

Think about it — if your own boyfriend was a timid, kiss-ass type of guy who thrives in a boring, stale living arrangement, you’ll be looking for a different boyfriend, too.

You can say this is the same reason why most of your ex-boyfriends stopped calling you after a while — it just wasn’t as fun as before.

But wait, you say — how come some of your friends have thoughtful boyfriends who keep constant contact? How come, no matter how long the relationship drags on, their boyfriends never seem to tire of making that bi-weekly phone call?

The answer is simple — they’ve simply found ways to keep that “new car smell” in their relationship.

And with a little practice, you can, too.

What To Do When He Stops Calling

I’d like to share an e-mail I received from one of my readers a few months ago. It went something like this:

“Hi Alexandra,

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of six months, and since then I’ve been wondering just what it was I did wrong. It all started when he stopped calling me up as often as we agreed to. The more I asked him what was wrong, and the more I made polite requests for him to call more often, nothing seemed to work.

Eventually we had a really big argument, and he told me things like “I can’t stand the pressure anymore” and “I want my freedom.” We broke up right after that.

Is asking him to call more often really putting a lot of pressure on him? It’s just a tiny little phone call!

Hope you could help me out. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one of your readers with this problem!

Thanks,

M.”

First of all, I’ll admit — yes, many of my readers DO have this problem. Many of the “advice” e-mails I receive ask about communication problems, particularly phone calls.

Secondly, here’s the deal — asking him for more frequent phone calls may not seem like a big deal for you, but it IS for him!

We women LOVE phone calls. We talk with our girlfriends ALL the time. And we have no qualms about putting our best friends’ phone numbers on speed dial (and not emergency numbers like 911!)

But men are a different story.

Do you think men call their best friends and talk gossip for hours?

Of course not! (And if your boyfriend does, I have a bad feeling for you!)

The only thing that would make a real man pick up the phone and dial your number would be if he needs something for you.

And in the early stages of a relationship, he NEEDS to hear your voice. He NEEDS to feel your company.

Unfortunately, the more often you talk, the more quickly he learns everything about you, and the more quickly he gets bored of the relationship.

But here’s the thing — when you call him up and ask what’s wrong, or if you ask him to call you more often, you’re actually asking him to do things he doesn’t normally do.

It’s equivalent to nagging, and nagging never does anything good for a relationship.

And here’s ANOTHER SECRET that makes the whole idea a lot more depressing:

When a man stops calling you (or otherwise getting in touch with you), he very well may be taking a little time to look at his present living setup carefully.

He may be looking at his job, his living arrangements, his strengths and weaknesses, etc.

Why?

Because he’s trying to find how he’s YOU’RE going to fit in.

Here’s a bit of wisdom for you — a little boy gets bored of his toys, but a REAL MAN finds ways to keep the things he likes close to his heart.

If he stops calling you up as often as before, it doesn’t mean he’s “lost that loving feeling” for you.

He could simply be re-assessing his life and making plans to make you a permanent part of it.

The sad part about it is that so many women ruin their chances by nagging their boyfriends about the sudden silence!

Don’t make this sudden silence your enemy. Make it your friend.

How? By finding ways to use the situation to your advantage!

My e-book series, the 77 Secrets of Love, contains all the information you need about how to turn a relationship around, even bringing back the “new car smell” you and your boyfriend enjoyed during your first few weeks together!

Do you want him to start calling again?

And do you want him to actively find ways to make your relationship last a lifetime?

You can learn how in my 77 Secrets of Love e-book series, which you can start reading in a few moments here!

- – -> Click here to get started! <- – -

Until the next post, keep learning about the right kinds of communication — and keep finding ways to make that “new car smell” last for the rest of your lives together!

To the happiness you deserve,

~Alexandra Fox

37 Comments »commitment, love, male psychology

37 Responses to “Why Did He Stop Calling?”

  1. Cheryl says:

    My boyfriend broke out with me one month ago after spending our first weekend together and I have not heard from him since. He did not like talking on the phone, but sent me cute text messages and talked to me routinely by instant messaging for one hour at a time. He told me that he was not ready to talk at an intimate level and felt that I wanted a long-term relationship, which he does not need or desire at this time in his life. Ouch!!!!! What did I do to prompt this afterthought? I asked him over the weekend about why he didn’t talk about his ex-wife and where he sees us in the future. I got my answer, but not the response I wanted.

  2. Renaye says:

    Yes, you certainly have a point there, I am in a similar situation where the person I have been talking to online for awhile has slowed down on the e-mails, possibly because we are going to meet in a few days, but I also think he is seeing how long he can go without contact before he will decide to write. I suppose if you can’t live without that persons contact for very long then that is the person you have an emotional connection with.

  3. Juliana says:

    I think every relationship goes through this kind of wave, at least at some point in time. My first boyfriend did this to me. We had problems that were beyond our control because my father did not like him and it always made it hard for us. However, that did not interfere with our good relationship, he would call so many times in a day, and the text messages were endless-I loved it and I felt like no one knew love like the way we did! After about close to two years he started dropping the communication graph, but being the proud gal that I am, I tried for a little bit to find out what had gone wrong and just gave up. We stopped calling each other and I never saw him until after more than 1 year, he was looking for me to apologize and see how we could continue where we stopped, but I felt like it was extremely late for him because I was pregnant with another boyfriend whom I broke up with again. But he still asked me to take him back, I couldn’t. My son today is three years, but ex still wants me back after 6 years, he is still single and tells me he is waiting for me to make up my mind once again, or at least when he sees me married to someone else. I am also single…mmmmm..MEN! they really amaze me. But I am not gonna take him back, I am looking forward to a new relationship once more.

    Then most recently, I met this guy at grad school, perhaps he got somehow attracted to me, though I did not have any attraction for him. he kept coming to my room and we could talk for so long, even in the night. We exchanged recipees, we made the same jokes, laughed and spent time together and got so addicted to each other! We became good friends, and we could exchange e-mails more than 5 times each day. Sometimes he would even just leave a voice message like “… hey there, I got a very strange call from this number, I wonder who it was, will you please call me back…I couldn’t take my calls” ahhahah, funny because I hadn’t called him, but he just wanted me to call…I liked it, because we would argue, and he insists that he got a call on that number, he would say he didn’t even know it was my number but just called back because he had missed a call from it…ahahaha!! I thought it was cute of him and that kept our friendship going! Sometimes, I would tell him not to talk to me so we can pretend like we don’t even know each other….so when we bump into each other some place, we would all go silent, and don’t talk and just go our ways….but when i would turn to look back, our eyes would meet coz he would also turn back to look, then we just end up laughing as we disappear from each other…that was so silly, but it would make the communication later in the day so spicy because we could have something new to laugh and joke about! I would say ‘ You looked first’ and he says ‘ no, its you who looked first’ and then i would say ‘ No, it is you who decided to wear that designer shirt in order to entice me to look back at you when i meet you, so you are the one who arm twisted me to look back at you’ then he would respond again ‘ no way, why did you wear that nice jewelry if you did not want me to look back, it was you who bribed my eyes into looking back at you’ ahahahah and we would argue and argue and laugh..we became so silly,but so emotionally connected.If he didn’t want to come to my room, he would just call and we talk for long and he eventually ends up saying ‘…ok, let me just come over so we can talk’ because his room was not far away from me. With time I felt emotionally attracted to him, of course he is handsome and good looking physically. I noticed he liked me and perhaps wanted to have a relationship with me…everyone in the apartment thought we were dating. Then just one day, hell broke loose! A female friend came to visit me, and I introduced him to her, of course she is prettier than me. He got so attracted to her physically, and even told me he liked her. He started making his moves to my friend but she never accepted him, and after they met for about 2 times, he told me she is not interesting and finds that she is somehow weird. Anyway in my heart I was like ‘ ..yes, you thought you wanted physical beauty, you got it’ That is not to mean that I am ugly, but we should accept that other people are physically prettier than us! I tried to sympathize with him-of course anyone knows that I was not really genuine but trying to act as a good friend at all times..ahahah. From that time, we stopped communicating in the previous way, and we only say hi for a little bit, I have never gone to his room, though he comes to my room once in a while to invite me to work out with him. I think he feels like a very big looser. I know he still likes me, but I think I can’t do anything because men who are easily taken up by physical beauty are problematic I guess, I am no longer attracted to him like before, but the truth is, I really still like him, but I know things will never be the same or go in the direction we had started. I see that he is so ashamed of his actions. Anyway, if someone can give me some tips I will be glad, but the bad thing is that i only have one month before I can leave for another country, so I may never see him, and i dont think anything can work out right now, and we are all busy with exams right now..HECK!!!

    Anyway…to hell with gossip! Okay, I think the best thing to do when he stops the communication is to just keep calling or once in a while to check on him and know how he is doing, without sounding angry at him..I know its hard. It also depends on how much ‘savings’ you have made in your ‘communication account’ because if you dont have a good foundation, the relationship could just end mysteriously when you are still thinking that he is trying to figure out how he can fit you in his life..NO. I also think, a man can think about that possibility without necessarily breaking the communication line. Anyway, men are unpredictable, you can never really know what he is thinking, in fact we just rely on guess work sometimes, and it does work:-). I think sometimes, we should also go slow right from the very beginning. The problem women have is that they unleash all their tactics within the shortest time, such that six month or one year down the road, there are no more exciting exploits to make to keep the relationship. A woman will buy flowers, within few days she has organized a surprise weekend trip with him, and when they are back, even when there is still the trip hangover, she takes him to his favorite movie, etc, etc. After a while, nothing will be new, it will be routine. I usually like to unfold my potential in bits, and for the men I have dated they find it exciting that they can’t predict the next thing I would do for them, sometimes I do nothing and it still excites them especially when they were expectant. For example, I had been always bought presents for my boyfriend on his birthday and even organized surprise parties..it became routine and he always suspected something like that. So on one birthday, I told him I wouldn’t be there on his birthday coz i would travel for work trip but wished him well. I went and booked a wonderful hotel outside of the city, far away like 1 hour’s drive.. and organized a surprise. I planned with two of his friends to kidnap him, so they waited for him as he was coming out of his office, and since he always worked till about 7pm on Fridays, it was a good thing. As he was coming out of his office, they got some other guys whom he did not know and just whisked him into their car with tinted glasses, and took off his phone and blind folded him. He thought he had been kidnapped and they drove him all in a zig zag manner and eventually arrived at the hotel where I was, and I had also told the hotel management about the plan so they would not think it was a crime or something sneaky. When they arrived at the hotel, he was brought straight to the room and he did not know where he was, and when they asked him to untie his eyes, I was there, very smart, there was a birthday cake, and few drinks….we sang happy birthday to him, and he could not believe I had done that..to him, it was the best birthday ever, His friends left shortly and we remained alone..We left on Saturday evening after spending the whole day again indoors, and as we left, I blindfolded him again and asked him not to look anywhere because I did not want him to know where we had been and i told his friends not to. It was two years later that his friends told him the name and location of the hotel… He always pleaded with me to tell him where that venue was, and it always spiced up our communication. Even after we have broken up, he still tells me about that birthday kidnap….! So I think, we just have to be creative enough to ensure spicy communication, otherwise if we become predictable, nothing will excite, even the phone calls will stop being exciting because you are always talking about the same thing!

  4. Adrian says:

    Well, I think it’s like you said about the new car, yeah a relationship is exciting when it still has that “new car smell”. BUT guys also like to have their vehicles detailed. A wax and wash… some special airfreshner hanging above the dash and WALA his car is like new. Relationships are like that as well. If a woman wants to hold her man’s interest, she’ll have to keep herself waxed and buffed and smelling like new. It’s as simple as that. She doesn’t have to reinvent the wheel, she can simply work with what she’s got or fake it till she makes it. LOL

  5. Sarah says:

    Going through the same thing,there were times he’d call just to “hear from me”, we would chat for hours on end, now I hardly get called or responses from text messages i send and the best he can do is say hi on chat then go quiet the whole day, it’s like he’s doing it out of duty and not like he really wants to. Your advice here and from various similar emails sounds reasonable, question is how long should i put up with it? I like the guy and don’t want to start the whole process of looking again, but i feel that in the process of filling up the gap created I’ll most probably move on completely. What to do?

  6. Elle says:

    Definitely, men do not like talking on the phone, as we girls do….I met someone a month ago…..he gave me his number and e-mail, I only gave him my e e-mail, never called him, he e-mailed, I answer, on my email, there’s alink to my biz card….which I always forget. Next day, he called me, we spoke 15-20 min. He is the one that calls me, once or twice a day. Few texts….I have limited the calls and text to him. Conversations with guys have to be short, witty, funny, playful. Before getting together this weekend, I read Alex “77″, and applied, where it was required. It worked like a charm. Today , as I was flying home, I had a text…B…misses you xoxo!!
    girls you have to ease up, let him miss you, let him make plans, they like the lead. B……took the lead, when he asked me to e-mail my schedule……i e-mailed 8 hrs later!!!
    Do not demand, do not try to get a feel of what, where the realtionship is going……it wil unravel by itself, as Alex said, only himself will feel, say, want…….We have to play it cool……..I have, and had the best weekend of my life…..Even when he made comments as how great we were together, I just laughed……Don’t jump the gun!!!
    Good Luck Girly girls!!!

  7. gigi says:

    It’s never really over. A glow can be ignited again into a burning fire with the time is right.
    It will glow harder until it cannot resist and it burts back into flames..

    I have been married for 32 years and even still I have never forgotton my first love. My first love at 16 we were deeply in love and were together for 3 years. I fell pregnant and was so frightened. I was still at school and in foster care so I secretly had an abortion. I felt so guilty about it that I could not face him and pushed him away. So much pain I felt I wanted to get away so far away from everyone I knew and I did.
    I took the opportunity to go to another country and started a new life. But my heart never, never forgot my first love.
    I would think about him sometimes and wonder how his life turned out.
    Recently he contacted me on facebook. It was a miracle. He had never forgotten me in all this time and still loved me after 32 years. Why had we gone apart in the first place. Communication. Although we had agreed on the abortion I did not tell him how guilty and broken I felt and empty. I just ran away. Now on emails we started to unfold these things and a great healing started for me. But also the love still burnt inside me for him. I spoke to my husband and told him that I had feelings for someone else. I just could not give him up after all these years I had found him again. I had to keep communicating and discovering more. How would we feel about each other after 30 years physically. The first phone call, hearing each others voices again after such a long time. The love still burnt. We decided we needed to see each other again to be sure that this was real. I was in another country. I had left my husband by this time because the feelings I had for someone else came in the way. And it was not right wanting to be with someone else and staying with your partner.
    When I saw him again. He had changed physically so much but his eyes and his face I knew so well. He used to have long hair and now he had very little hair. But my heart knew him and when he touched my hand my body recognised him. Like magnets we were drawn together with a force that just swept us away. Physically we were together again like when we were young. Nothing else mattered for this sweet wonderful miracle time for us being together again. We had an opportunity to be together for 3 days. I did not expect such a natural coming back together again I thought it would be strange and it would take time to get to know each other again.
    But it was like we had never left each other.
    Both of us said how our sex drive had dwindled to almost nothing with our marriage partners. So much so that we thought we were frigid. But not with each other. This was amazing. Our bodies reacted to each other so positively. We could not deny the love that we have for each other still.
    Our bodies told us how we feel about each other.
    It’s never really over when you have had such a deep love for each other.

  8. Karen says:

    Also, keep up your own interests and hobbies so that when you do talk on the phone there’s always something “good” to talk about. Don’t be so available to him all the time. Even from the beginning don’t always be available to take his phone call. Make plans with friends and tell him that you won’t be around and that you’ll talk to him the following day. Don’t allow him be the center of the universe. You have to have your own life apart and this will make you much more interesting to him too. Been there done that and I’ve finally learned some lessons…but not ALL of them!!! LOL

  9. Lanora says:

    No real comments, because I dont claim to have all the answers. Because what works for some, does not mean that it will work for all. All men are just as different as all women. So I am only implying that to spice up things YOU HAVE TO STOP BEING A PILLOW PRINCESS!!!
    I know that you are probably wondering what a PILLOW PRINCESS is… well, let me enlighten you. Don’t be one of those females that just lays there while he does all of the work. Some may not want to mess up that new hair do that cost and arm and a leg, and some are just plain ol’ inexperienced… But not worries. Just be free. Don’t just lay there and moan and let him do all the work. Take control sometimes when he least expects it! This will add that additional flame to your romance level. Of course you want to intellectually stimulate him first with a conversation that doesnt invlove your problems, friends and family. Try politics and add some humor to the conversation. This let’s him know that you are in touch with more than a realtionship and sex. SPICE IT UP A LITTLE LADIES!!! I am no expert, but when I raised my confidence level and started trying new things, I stopped having to ask for a phone call and starting having to ask why so many… Think about it!

  10. kanya says:

    hiii, well my story s quite different.. actually we started to talk as frds and but i started to give more importance to him and finally i fall in love with him.. and i propose him too.. he said just wait for 3yr n he has family prob’s etc etc… and we just started to talk again den i was talking to him in love intension.. so i started to keep on msg n asking him time 2 spend wit me.. i think this where the prob’s started..nw he s talking as if avoiding me.. he s spending time more to his friends… now i dnt kn wat to do.. whether to leave him or.. plzz help me..

  11. Lockie says:

    If you treat them as they treat you, they can’t stand it. My new man friend will not call or text for a few days. When he does finally text I make myself wait a while before I respond and he goes nuts. He says he hates ‘games’ but admits that he does like the chase. I’m not quite sure what the difference is but whatever it takes to keep a good man, it is worth it. Thanks for the blogs. I know this is how you are supposed to do things but when you are in it, it can be hard to see and stick to it. Just reading something supportive at the right moment helps to keep me on track.

  12. Cindi says:

    When I first started dating my guy he called all the time & after several months the calls diminshed a little bit, instead of (nagging) I used the same technique, I stopped calling him as often, and wala!! He’s still calling me almost as much as when we first went out. Make them wonder like they do you. Sometimes he knows that I’ll be home from work by 5pm, and I was always the first to call, when I didn’t and waited it seemed like an enternity, and then the phone rings, and its where are you, why haven’t you called?

  13. Vee says:

    There was this guy who I noticed he looked fit and always go for runs in the evening, I move into a new area, I asked him one evening for me and my roommate to accompany him, because it is safer to go running with a guy in the late evening.

    We started being friends, he will come over to our apt and hang out with me and my female roommate. He invited me to play soccer on Fridays * I played soccer for a club 3yrs ago* We had healthy discussion, nice jokes and he even invited me to meet his mom three times.

    He said he is touring out, not ready for a relationship, but when ready I will be the first person he will consider, that he likes me a lot and admire the quality I process. Sometimes he will come in my room, sleep on my bed or asked me to massage him. Well one day that massarge turn into SEX, he turn me on with his kiss and the way he touch my body.In total we had sex 10 times, we when out sometimes.

    I used to call him a lot, because I was falling for him, eventually he will say we going out and last minute he will say he change his mind something came up. That made me upset and sad. I went at his home and spoke with his mom, she told me that he is confused, and was hurt really bad in the last two relationship he had.

    I told him how I was feeling, he apologize and told me he stress out and dealing with stuff. He came by me and told me that we will not be having sex anymore, or going out, that will only complicate things and he will hurt me. He never came back by my apt its 18days now. three times he was coming but I was not home. He ask me to stop calling and texting so much, I making things bad for my self and getting upset.

    I stop I don’t call or text anymore, Do you think he will come around? I will be moving out from the area in one week. I really like this guy but apparently he do not know what he wants and have issues.
    I must confess I yearn the affection of a male, I did not grow up with my dad or had any father figure male in my early child years, so when I have a man, he has to be my friend, lover. I need reassurance, he know about this plus he did’t grow up with his dad to.

    I was really depress and sad but I am better now been talking to his mom, my mom and a good male friend and reading my bible

  14. Jennifer says:

    It’s been tough for me. I went out with a guy for a couple of weeks after knowing each other for ten years. He has suddenly dropped off the face of the Earth. Luckily, I know a close friend of his who told me that he is like this. He will get sick, or his finances will go down. He will stop calling or texting people altogether except for his mom. So I know it has nothing to do with me. It has to do with him. Maybe he will turn around and things will be fine again. And even if it doesn’t, we will always be friends.

  15. robyn says:

    I think that people rush into relationships too quickly these days and they also get serious too quickly, if you want to keep a guy don’t put out on the first night, because trust me in the begining that is what all guys want and if you put out too soon you have given them exactly what they wanted and then they think that they don’t have to work to get you anymore and then they start losing interest and you just become a booty call to them and that is the only time they wil call. you should not EVER ask someone to call you or plan when he should be calling you! who wants to call someone that is expecting them to call every five minutes, then it becomes more like a chore and not a want! oh shit i better call her or else she is going to get insecure and then i will have to put up with it later! How can you ever have freedom like that, if you are expecting his call but he is not calling you, just call him, have more confidence in yourself, take control of the sitation and don’t sit there feeling sorry for yourself because he’s not calling you! if you want to hear his voice call him, ok not every five minutes and if you hear the disinterest in his voice don’t even ask what’s wrong, act as if it doesn’t bother you, but don’t sit around waiting for a call from a man that may or may not be interested, you will just drive yourself crazy and you will never be happy! that is the mistake that most woman make, even me! we need to realise that we can live without them, they are the ones that can’t live without us! so just wait he’ll call sooner or later!

  16. charito says:

    Well, I think it’s like you said about the new car, yeah a relationship is exciting when it still has that “new car smell”. BUT guys also like to have their vehicles detailed. A wax and wash… some special airfreshner hanging above the dash and WALA his car is like new. Relationships are like that as well. If a woman wants to hold her man’s interest, she’ll have to keep herself waxed and buffed and smelling like new. It’s as simple as that. She doesn’t have to reinvent the wheel, she can simply work with what she’s got or fake it till she makes it. LOL .Yes i believe on this too. because this is what happening to me right now .I keep the relationship with this guy for more than 3 years now and everytime he see me..he likes me too much because what he say that he get excited all the time its because of my smell and he is always amazed the way i dress..this is what he said ..but I think when a man stop communicating to you is because he has another prospect [woman] that he is calling..yes…a man will miss you if he will not call once a day…give him all the space he wanted but for sure he should miss you if he will not call.

  17. Willow says:

    I really believe less communication is more where men are concerned. I used to panic and post numerous texts to my man if I felt he wasn’t getting in touch with me, then I got caught up in a personal issue which rendered me unable to communicate for hours- he sent text after text to me pleading with me to get in touch ASAP. I realised how it feels to be bombarded with texts when you’re busy or have issues to deal with. I’ve become even more conservative with him as I know my cool nature initially attracted him ( wasn’t particularly interested!) then I fell for him Bigstyle, saw him cool, I texted constantly wanted to spend all my spare time with him. he was just doing man things, men don’t need that constant conversation like women. Now I leave it hours before I get back in touch ( well at least forty minutes :-) ) it works!!

  18. Tori says:

    Great advice Alexandra.Men communicate very differently than women. I’m not sure if I’ll ever understand them , but this information is definitely a refresher of what ” not to do” or ” how to act”, when a man fails to communicate as often as we would like. Thanks for sharing your experiences and as they say, ” each one, teach one.”

  19. Ncamisile says:

    It pains me to even comment about this blog, men dont know what they want they are plain stupid and they bring you down with them only you fall harder. After sex or when he has found another toy to play with he changes and he doesnt call as often. This does not mean you are any less interesting but he is just selfish. When a man loves a women he tolarates every stupid conversation they have. Its better to just tell him call once a week maybe that will keep him interested and missing you all the time.

  20. Gift says:

    Thanks Alex,i think the best thing to do is to ignore them when they don’t call,am really learning alot

  21. despite says:

    hi Alex, me and my man have a good cominnication almost every day in telephone.After 3yrs recently i realise he stop calling me and avoiding me.I came to know he is in love with another girl.When i ask him he say he just see me as a friend.How could this be i am questioning myself..

  22. y3onk says:

    thanks alot

  23. Eve says:

    I am a long time veteran of this problem except it’s worse because it is SEVERE long distance and the only way to keep a long distance relationship alive is to call and since he is in the military you would think he would appreciate it…it is so hard not to call though but I try not to because it is the only thing that works…but I have the added stress of knowing that he has a weak will and used to seek out ways to cheat on me in the past (I caught him) so him not calling can be a red flag for that. I am seriously thinking about not trying anymore because there is only so much GIVE and only so much taking I can deal with.

  24. jenna says:

    hi i have been in this relationship with my b/f of four months. Early in the relationship he used to call me often or reply my text messages soonest anyway he traveled abroad recently and since he’s been gone the communication has been less. Does he still love me or am I worried for nothing? He has not replied 2 of my text messages I know this sounds petty but does this mean that he doesn’t love me like before!!!!!!

  25. nothingness says:

    men are really weird i just don’t get them

    well i had a boyfriend for over a year and we were doing really great, we used to do everything together , he was always phoning sometimes hed just phone for a minute to hear my voice….. he loved me …. and always told me that i was the best thing in his life

    suddenly …and for no reason he disapeared … he phoend me the day before and we were fine we had no argument nothing he told me he loved me and the next day he just vanished… i looked for him for more than 2 weeks … eveywhere ,i phoned sent texts actually begging 2 no wat happened why he did this where he was … no answer
    after 2 weeks he sent me an email saying we just dont work for each other and we r not good for eachother and he decided to end it this way because he didnt want 2 talk to me and hurt me!!!! ( like ending a year long relashionship this way didnt hurt me )any way i started going out and partying ,going to the gym trying to get over him,,, finallay after 2 months after i actually felt like i was soo over him he came back begging me to finish off with him where we ended to go back 2 him!! i mean wat is this???? is he crazy ur the one who left dude!!!!
    now he is constantly after me telling me he cant live without me and he will never any lady like he loved me , wat is this he was the one who left me in the first place and noww he wants me back is ooo dont get him…. so why do u think he may have left and now hes back and telling me he loves me !!!????

  26. Preet says:

    My ex and I had lengthy conversations when we lived separatley. It was alot more calling and texting.. and saying exactly i love u…no i love you more.. back and forth… and he knew he had to call to see where i was, what i was doing. but once we were living together… things changed…. he would never call me from work cause he knew I was home and if I was going somewhere he was going to the first one to know. So the biggest mistake I think I made by letting him know exactly what i was going to do, calling him to let him know where i was, if i was going to be 5 minutes late, or stuck in traffic. All this caused him to lay back because he knew that i would tell him anyways, why would he bother to ask. So my advice to you ladies is whether your living together or not living together, dating or married just dont tell him everything, dont call him constantly, get involved in activities do things, keep yourself busy…….dont tell him you are stuck in traffic or anything of that sort… make him wonder where you are, what you are doing…. let him make the call to find out why you are five or ten minutes late.. . make him feel like a man… make him feel like he needs to protct you.. let him do the manly things around the house… then praise him for being a MAN!!!

  27. Juliana says:

    Greetings girls.
    After some months of being out of touch, I am here again.
    I need help.
    Okay, I met this guy on my campus in the U.S and he seemed to get attracted to me, we became friends and he took me to dinner twice and also had 3 causal outings!
    Unfortunately, I only had 2months left, and now I am in the UK. He also left Italy on a study abroad program. he had promised to visit me in the UK and asked me to visit him in Italy, and I said I will look and see my schedules.

    Ok, now the real thing is that, he asked in september to meet up with me sometime..may be for a dinner in Paris or London or some city else. I took one day before responding to him. I agreed to the idea of meeting up for dinner in Paris but indicated that my options were open. Now seriously (I am even confused on what to do), this is Mid November, and he has never replied me about whether he changed his mind about us meeting, or whether he got so busy…but it doesn’t take hours to send a five sentence response.

    I am confused because I don’t know if I should contact him again (not to ask about meeting up, but just a friendly e-mail like asking how he is and how his schooling is going in Italy). If I do this, it may seem like I am desperate (which i am not) because he is the one to reply to my e-mail, after all it was his suggestion to meet up.
    Secondly, if I do not, it may seem like I am not interested in him. I am seriously interested in him, but also very careful not to seem like am desperate, yet I also want him to know that I am interested. see? This is just a hard decision for me.

    Anyway, what do you girls advice? Should I contact him, or should I just keep quiet and ignore him for good.

    On the other hand, I am of course having fun and a great time in my school. There are a lot of guys attracted to me but none of them has come straight to tell me (I know you will ask me whether I am doign my part, but I reckon I am using all the ALexandra’s styles including flirting, dressing up-infact am the dressiest in my class and everyone knows that i dress nicely, always smelling nice, etc,). On a sad note, the guy I was so attracted to (and am still) has a girlfriend back in his country. He is also attracted to me, and i can tell he is having a hard time with me coz he is trying so hard to resist me in order to stay faithful to his girlfriend(which I understand)….but this is a long story which I will come back to later!

    Anyway, I am more interested in hearing your views about what I should do to the guy in Italy! He is mature, understanding, and the kind of person i am really interested in for a long term relationship.

    Thank you

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