Devon “D.B.” Bradway here. Today’s Male Confessions
Newsletter is all about the question: “Is it REALLY the
guy’s job to chase?”
What do you think? (Jump to my answer here.)
It’s confusing sometimes, because while some men like to
pursue, woo, ask out, and court women properly… many
others don’t. In fact, some men seem to be ALLERGIC to the
idea of having to “chase” women.
So what’s the real deal? Let me reveal to you what really
happens to a man’s body, mind, and spirit when we chase…
and when we’re BEING chased.
Basically, in the “courtship” game, there are two types of
men. I like to call them “hunters” and “gatherers.”
About The “Hunters”
“Hunters” are those few, relationship-ready,
non-douchebaggy men who still believe it’s the guy’s job
to woo the woman. It may seem old-fashioned, and some
women may even find it chauvinistic.
But let’s face it. It worked wonderfully for our
grandparents. 90% of couples in their generation lived
happy, lifelong relationships. Compare that to roughly
Why do “hunters” chase? Many reasons:
– It makes them feel manly
– It brings out wonderful masculine traits
– It’s attractive to kindhearted, goal-oriented women
What’s more, it’s a “hunter’s” absolute dream to meet a
woman who appreciates his efforts, and does her part to
make the chase interesting and fun.
Now let’s talk about the other side of the coin…
About The “Gatherers”
On the other hand, “gatherers” are men who DON’T believe
in chasing… and instead prefers to let women approach,
pursue, and court THEM.
And all too often, “gatherers” tend to have multiple women
chasing them… with each one of them thinking she’s his
“only one.” (See why they’re called “gatherers?”)
Needless to say, while being a “hunter” tends to bring out
the BEST in a man, being a “gatherer” brings out the WORST.
“Gatherers” tend to be proud, conceited, and lazy,
preferring to let the ladies do most of the work.
Sadly, you see gatherers everywhere these days:
– Players who romance women just for the fun of it
– Cheaters who can’t stick to one woman
– “Pick-up Artists” who prowl for one-night-stands
My advice: If you’re not in it for the long-term, and want
to date just for fun, then it’s probably okay to do most
of the work for a guy. Just stay safe and don’t get too
attached, because that’s when things go horribly wrong.
Now, this leads us to a question asked all too often in
the game of love…
Why Are There So Few “Hunters” Left?
I’ve had a lot of women ask me: “Why are there so few
‘hunter’ type men out there? All the guys I meet are the
‘gatherer’ types. I end up doing all the work. It’s frustrating!”
Well, there are two reasons behind the “hunter” shortage today.
The first reason is society. Today, for whatever reason,
some women tend to frown on men who have great manners.
Question: Have you ever felt insulted when a guy held a
door open, took a heavy load off your hands, or pulled out
a chair for you?
If not, that’s great. But many women, for whatever reason,
don’t like it when a man treats them like a lady. They
feel it implies a woman can’t stand up for herself.
In any case, many of today’s men are approval-conscious,
and avoid doing anything that might offend or insult anyone.
In short, they become “gatherers,” letting the women in
their lives do whatever they want. (Which, in the long
run, makes both of them miserable and unsatisfied… and
the breakup becomes just a matter of time.)
That’s the first reason.
Here’s the second reason:
Most “hunter” type men don’t care what people think.
If people like him, that’s great. If people DON’T like
him, it’s okay. Pleasing strangers isn’t a “hunter’s”
So they go out, they get into a relationship with a good
woman, they begin a happy marriage, they start a healthy
family, and so on.
In other words… there aren’t many “hunters” out there
because they’ve already found what they’re looking for.
THAT’S why there are so many “gatherers” and so few
“hunters” in the dating game!
Now, don’t let that discourage you, because all that
separates a “gatherer” from becoming a “hunter” is his
fear of the opinions of strangers.
And many times, when a “gatherer” meets the kind of woman
he’d do absolutely ANYTHING for, then he stops worrying
about what other people think… mans up… and starts
It just takes ONE SPECIAL WOMAN to turn any “gatherer”
into a “hunter.”
And here’s the good news: YOU can learn to be that woman!
Here’s a clue: The secret is all about “who wants who more.”
The person who wants the other person more is the one who
chases… and the one who’s being chased ALWAYS has the
upper hand in the relationship!
The key, then, is to make a man want you ever-so-slightly
more than you want him. And that’s going to bring out all
the wonderfully masculine “hunter” traits in him.
Believe me. I know. It’s happened to me!
To learn the love skills to turn even the most cowardly
“gatherers” into brave, risk-taking, manly “hunters,”
visit the website below.
Have a great week ahead,
Love and Relationships Coach