"How to NOT Scare Him Away
>> NOTE: Did your ex-boyfriend(s) leave you right after you confessed your feelings for them? How come being honest can be a bad thing in love and relationships? The truth is that it's not WHAT you say that scares them away -- it's HOW you say it! Learn the RIGHT WAY to say it by getting a copy of the 77 Secrets of Love -- and win his heart for good!
- - -> Learn to say it RIGHT! <- - -
about honesty -- and why it seems to
have a hard time finding a place
in love and relationships!
I'm sure you've experienced it before -- when you FINALLY came clean and told him you loved him, he suddenly started acting weird around you. Even if he said he "felt the same way," you couldn't help but notice that he's... different.
And ultimately, even if the relationship started out well enough, he starts drifting away. Before you knew it, you could no longer get in touch with him -- as though he was no longer interested in the relationship.
What's going on? How come being honest and telling the truth seems to backfire on women?
They say "honesty is the best policy" -- and I do believe that. I'd hate to be in a relationship with a man when we're not totally, completely honest with each other.
The problem with honesty is that it comes in many costumes. It can dress up as brutal, it can dress up as painful, or it can dress up as gentle. (And it has many other costumes, too.)
In other words, there's a GOOD way to be honest -- and there's a BAD way!
Unfortunately, most of us are conditioned to be honest in the BAD way. (I blame TV, sitcoms, and conservative politics.)
It takes a bit of time and patience to un-learn BAD honesty, and learn to be honest in a GOOD way. I'll talk more about that later.
For now, I'd like you to think back on your last relationship that got RUINED when you laid out your cards in front of you. Try to remember what you said -- and, perhaps more importantly, HOW you said it.
It's Not What You Say -- It's HOW You Say It
As I've mentioned, there are GOOD and BAD ways to be honest.
Here's a typical story -- if a woman is bitter about her idiot ex-boyfriends, you can be pretty sure she'll talk about them in a bitter, negative context to her new boyfriend.
I know a lot of women do this. They somehow think that if they make their other boyfriends look bad, the new boyfriend would feel more sympathetic and loving.
it actually does the OPPOSITE!
It'll only set off a bunch of red flags to the guy. It you talk bitterly about your past, your new boyfriend will think you're STILL dealing with your past demons -- and that's quite a bit of emotional baggage.
And, yup, people would much rather deal with as little emotional baggage as possible.
what I mean about the BAD way of being honest?
You may be VERY honest in telling him how badly you feel about your ex-boyfriends.
But you still end up scaring him away!
Here's a quick lesson on the side -- if you're still bitter, uncertain, or afraid of getting into a new relationship (especially if you got "burned" pretty badly in the past), then it might not be the best time to find a new boyfriend.
think a new boyfriend will heal the wounds left by the
You can't keep blaming your old boyfriends for your misery. Because when you blame an ex-boyfriend for your misery, then it means you're also WAITING for your ex-boyfriend to solve the problem.
Sorry, but he won't solve it for you.
As unfair as it may sound, you'll HAVE to take responsibility for your misery.
Ever considered that you may be miserable NOT because of the problem, but because of the way you LOOK at the problem?
When you can finally tell yourself that YOU have the problem, only then can YOU find the solution!
Learn To Look Back At Your Problems And Smile
Don't get me wrong -- it's NATURAL to feel angry when your ex-boyfriend treated you badly.
Anger is a sign that you love yourself. And yes, you can only love other people when you know how to love yourself first.
But you're never meant to stay angry for long periods of time.
Think of anger as being like acid.
When used for very short periods of time, acid can be one of the best cleaners you can find.
But when you leave it for long periods of time, it can destroy things completely!
You'll want your anger to get rid of the pain, to make you more mature, to wipe your slate clean for the next man to walk into your life.
Don't stay angry for too long -- it's only going to turn you bitter, often beyond repair. (Eek!)
For men, it's no fun being with a bitter, nagging, emotionally-immature woman.
No matter how much you beg, plead, make yourself look sorry, do favors, and offer free sex to the guy, he'll never love you if you stay mired in a bitter, negative mindset!
You'll have to learn to look back at the pain and heartache you've experienced in the past -- and smile.
I know it sounds hard to do, but believe me, it's the ONLY GOOD WAY to "move on."
Do you really want the pain and heartache in your past relationships to get in the way of your new relationship?
Do you really want to risk scaring away your new boyfriend by harboring hate and anger from your past relationships?
(I hope not!)
Learn To Be Honest In A GOOD way.
As I've mentioned before, there are many ways to be honest. I'll give my favorite analogy right now:
You can be BRUTALLY honest and say things like, "I want us to settle down together before the year is over."
You can be PAINFULLY honest and say things like, "Why are you so indecisive? You can be so infuriating sometimes."
Or you can be GENTLY honest and say things like:
"I love you, but I'd like to talk to you about my plans for the relationship sometime. When you're ready to talk, please let me know."
See the difference?
Being honest shouldn't mean it should be all about YOU. It should always, ALWAYS take him into consideration too.
Think of HIS feelings. Think of HIS past. Think of HIS expectations. And then find the middle ground.
That's the key!
Being honest in a GOOD way is an important skill to learn in any relationship. Used correctly, it can turn even an emotionally-unavailable man around and make him FALL IN LOVE SO MADLY with you!
I've seen it happen in thousands of my readers so far. And I'd love to see it happen in YOUR life!
Just click on the link below to get your very own copy of my 77 Secrets of Love:
- - -> Make him love you FOREVER! <- - -
When you finally find true love, make sure to let me know!
To the happiness you deserve,
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