"The Right Way to FIX a
>> NOTE: Do you know how to fix a broken relationship? Do you know how to turn things around and keep him from leaving you for another woman? It's possible to fix a relationship -- ANY relationship -- if you know exactly how a man's mind works. My 77 Secrets of Love e-book series will teach you exactly what he's thinking -- and how to use it to your advantage!
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Hello again! Today, we'll be talking about how to fix broken relationships. I've been receiving a lot of e-mails from you guys about the right way to address "boyfriend problems."
I'll admit, even the best relationships out there aren't perfect.
Every couple goes through their little squabbles, sometimes several times a day.
Right now, let's read through an actual e-mail that Chelle (not her real name) sent me a little while back. Here it is:
"I have a question about what to do if you feel that you've lost your man in many ways and want to try and rebuild. I know that he cares about me but I haven't given him the space he needs and now that he's pulling away it's even harder.
"Any advice in how to let go, take a step back and not obsess over the possibility of him wanting other women? I know it can happen to even a happy relationship and I know that I have to be happy with me above all else, but that logical knowledge doesn't always outweigh my emotions.
First of all, Chelle, I'd like to commend you for knowing that your boyfriend NEEDS SPACE. And I'd also like to pat you on the back for genuinely wanting to fix your relationship, even if you know your own emotions are getting in the way.
Now, W, does Chelle's situation sound a bit like yours?
It's very easy to fall so madly in love with a man that you lose your own sense of importance. It's like all of a sudden, you depend on him for your happiness so much that you can't possibly feel any joy when he's not around.
Of course, that's not a very good setup.
Today's society is VERY competitive. And it needs women who can stand up for themselves and carve their own success stories -- personally, socially, and emotionally.
And depending too much on a man for your own happiness is doing exactly the opposite!
So if you're a little too obsessed with a man who's drifting away, here's a few secrets straight from my e-books that will help you get back on track.
#1 - Stop worrying about what HE'S doing wrong, and try to see how YOU'RE making the situation worse.
It's natural for men to be a little immature when it comes to emotional problems.
(Sometimes I think it's Mother Nature's way of awakening the "motherly instinct" in all of us.)
But unfortunately, too many of us try to fix this immaturity with our OWN brand of immaturity.
For instance, if he argues "I need space!", some of us give snide comebacks like "Fine! Go to NASA! They deal with LOTS of space!"
Or if he tells you, "I don't need this kind of PRESSURE!", we go, "Maybe you should DEFLATE your ego!"
Or if he tries to sweet-talk, "Baby, you KNOW I'd go to the end of the world for you," we go, "Good. Can you STAY there?"
hilarious, and I admit, comebacks like this can really release a
lot of anger and stress!
BUT -- and you knew this was coming -- you're ONLY MAKING THINGS WORSE.
I know you have your "good intentions" whenever you nag him.
You may want to make things a little "easier" for him by telling him EXACTLY what you want. Or you may think you're awakening his "macho" side with these arguments. Or you may think that ultimately, if he does what you say, he's going to become a happier, better, more responsible person.
But you know what they say -- "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
What good are your "good intentions" when all they do is run the relationship to hell?
If nagging isn't fixing the problem -- stop nagging!
If NOT giving him the space he needs isn't fixing the problem -- then give him space!
If your emotions are getting in the way of the relationship -- start thinking a bit more logically!
That's just secret #1. Secret #2 should follow soon after:
#2 - Plan your approach.
Sure -- love is an emotion.
But as you already know, "following your heart" can lead to disastrous results!
You'll need to plan your approach to the problem. Obviously the "solutions" you've been trying hasn't been working, so there has to be a better way.
Here's an example. Half the time, BEGGING him to stay in the relationship actually works.
But the problem with begging is that he only stays in the relationship out of PITY, not out of LOVE. And if he feels sorry for you, he's not really going to love you.
So begging should be out of the question.
Another example: ARGUING.
Sometimes arguing is natural. When a guy says or does something you don't agree with, you might argue with him to show him that what he did was wrong.
But only two things can happen in this situation:
Either HE proves you wrong and you end up REINFORCING his bad behavior...
...or YOU prove him wrong -- and he ends up feeling stupid, insignificant, and under pressure.
Both aren't really good ways to make him stay!
In The End, It's Always About The Middle Ground
Yup, there are two of you in the relationship -- and there will always be things you won't agree upon.
But I don't think these disagreements should actually grow and overshadow the love you have for each other.
I repeat -- in the end, it's always about finding the middle ground.
You'll need to find a compromise with him on many things. And let's face it -- sometimes, you'll really have to bend over backwards to make the relationship work.
But here are two bits of good news in all of this:
#1 - If he REALLY loves you, then he'll appreciate your efforts at compromising -- and even make his own efforts to find that elusive "middle ground" in your relationship.
#2 - I can TEACH you what makes him "tick" -- and trigger that long-lost "loving feeling" that will make him actually WANT you as his girlfriend again!
I'd like to invite you to learn the 77 Secrets of Love. I'm not talking about tips to make him to go bed with you -- I'm talking about how to touch his mind and heart in all the right ways, and awaken the "real man" in him!
One final tip: If you want a relationship of conflicts, then argue with him. If you want a relationship of pity, then beg him to stay. But if you want a relationship of love, then LOVE him -- and encourage him to love you, too.
So instead of telling him, "PLEASE stay, I'm begging you," tell him this:
"I love you, but I want you to know that I want to settle down eventually. I just want to enjoy a relationship without any fear or hesitation, and just be happy for the rest of our lives."
To the happiness you deserve,
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